If you are experiencing Relational Aggression, keep in mind
You are not alone
RA is a common experience among girls in elementary, middle and high school. Often the hardest times are in middle school. RA can become easier as girls mature, feel more tolerant of difference and diversity, and as they increase their confidence and comfort in being themselves.
You can ask for help
Seek allies in peers or adults. Most girls or women (and even many guys and men) have experienced RA or have felt hurt or bullied. Others can offer comfort and guidance. After feeling betrayed or hurt, it can be healing to connect with others in a positive or supportive way. Some schools have policies to protect against bullying, including relational aggression. Teachers, counselors and administrators typically are committed to creating and maintaining safe environments for students.
Find “hardiness zones”
Seek out activities and communities where you feel safe and strong and where you feel accepted for who you are.
Take a stance to challenge RA
Perhaps other girls or adults in your school or community would be interested to work together to promote positive alliances and to prevent bullying. Some schools have supported programs to create safe zones in schools, to have poster or essay contests about RA, to teach conflict resolution skills, and to reward random acts of kindness.
